I don't think I'm really one to get star struck. Granted, I haven't seen many celebrities. At least I don't think I have...I'm fairly certain I wouldn't recognize one unless they turned up on my doorstep and introduced themselves.
One time, I did see Kevin Spacey in a little NYC breakfast joint. I noticed him and thought, "why does he look so familiar?" Then, I started staring, because that's just normal human behavior when one concentrates on figuring out a puzzle...right? He looked at me—in the squinty, yet not squinty way only Kevin Spacey can pull off—as if to say, "stop staring at me." I looked back at him—in the squinty way that gives me resting bitch face—as if to say, "maybe we worked at the same office?"
That's when my husband stepped in and whispered in my ear who he was. Thank goodness because I was seconds away from walking up to Kevin to ask him if our kids went to the same school or something.
I've had more experience with musician sightings. I love me a good concert, and I'm not afraid to act like an idiot in order to meet the band. I know, I'm awesome like that.
One time, we saw a really great Moby set. He was playing acoustic, which I hadn't ever heard him do. He was incredible.
Now, let me pause momentarily to share a tip with you. When meeting a celebrity, remember to play it cool. I mean, you don't want to seem overly excited to be talking to them. They're just normal people after all.
"Wow," I said to Moby when we met after the show. I was just going to shoot the breeze, as though he was some random guy behind me in a grocery store line. "I've heard so many of your songs, but I never realized until tonight how talented you actually are..."
Let me interject with another tip: don't insult a celebrity. I'm still working on this one.
"Um, thanks?" He squinted his eyes in the way only Moby can*. Then he walked off. It wasn't until I woke up the next morning that I realized I had given Moby a backhanded compliment. Apparently that's my version of "playing it cool." So, yeah - score one for me. I fully expect a solid comeback next time we meet, Moby. You've had plenty of time to work on it.
Hands down my favorite musician to bump into is the drummer, Brian, from the band Guster. Great band, great guys. Love love love. In typical me fashion, I actually gave him a backhanded compliment the first time we met, too. I'm just so good at it.
It was right after a concert. Instead of telling him it was a great show - which I now realize is a totally normal thing to say to someone who has indeed just performed a great show - I scolded him on the order of the set list. "You should have played these songs together, instead of those ones..." Something intelligent like that. Guys, I swear I'm a nice person in real life.
Anyway, I totally made up for it the second time I met Brian. It was at a show in San Francisco, and I was on a date with a guy I was less than interested in. Brian was hilarious, then we snapped a picture and went our separate ways. Because I'm just that cool (aka, I was bored at work and knew he'd appreciate the same random crap I do), I Photoshopped the picture and emailed it to the generic Guster address. Why not, right? This was pre-social media. It's not like they ever get to see the photos their fans take. I was doing him a huge solid.
You guys, you need to remember that Photoshop wasn't as advanced as it is now (yes...let's use that excuse for how this looks...). You can hardly notice it (thanks to my advanced skills), but if you look hard enough, you'll see I drew in Brian's right arm. It was necessary after deleting my date from the photo. I feel I need to once again emphasis how nice of a person I am in real life.
He loves this photo...I'm pretty sure it's hanging on his wall somewhere
Okay, so maybe I do get a little star struck. I just have a unique way of dealing with it. So far, so good I guess. I mean, Brian and I are friends now. You know, the kind who send each other Facebook messages for each other's birthdays and stuff. And, for the record, I never got any hate mail from Moby, so I'm calling it a success.
Kevin Spacey...I'm still not entirely convinced we didn't work together...
* I'm not actually sure if this is true... If we're being honest, it was the first time I ever saw Moby squint
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I'D RATHER WEAR PAJAMAS