*Let me start of by making it clear that there was NO problem using InstaCart. It was a delightfully easy service that saved me time. Who doesn't want that? All the faults addressed below have to do with me, the user. Not InstaCart. Thank you*
Technology is awesome. I mean like, amazing monkey awesome. Of course, this isn't news; we all know computers make our lives exponentially better. BUT, we also all have our love/hate relationship with them, amiright?
Take, for example, my (all too common) technology blunders. It's hard living in a world of screens when you're a kinesthetic learner. I know, big word...it means I learn by touching and exploring things. Which is why I'm one of the few nerds out there who loves going grocery shopping. Seriously, a favorite pastime. I love comparing nutrition facts between brands. I love getting suckered into buying crappy products because they have cool packaging. I love guessing what overhead music will be playing based on the time of day. Big time NERD ALERT.
But, I've heard a lot of buzz about these life-changing companies that actually do your grocery shopping for you. You fill out a little online form and an hour later, BAM, your food arrives with a smile. Well, your food isn't smiling, but hopefully your delivery person is. Unless you ordered 20 bowling balls and he has to carry them up three flights of stairs to get to your front door. I know that's not a realistic scenario - he'd probably just take the elevator.
We got home from a trip yesterday to an empty fridge and no time in the day to run to the store to fill it. So, I gave in and created an Instacart account.
Let me stop right there and give you a little background. I'm a complete failure when it comes to online shopping, re: kinesthetic learner. I never have the patience to read through product descriptions and somehow often order multiple times more than I need, or a different item altogether. I don't know.
Take for example our 2010 Cinco de Mustache party. I know. You so want to be my friend right now.
Guys, it was a great party. You really should have been there
One item on my to-do list was "purchase mustaches" (as should be an item on anybody's to-do list). I hopped onto Amazon, found a pack of 50 sticker mustaches and viola! they were on their way. Two days later, a GIANT box arrives on our front porch with not 50, but 500 mustaches inside. 500 mustaches, people. I had somehow accidentally ordered 500 mustaches. Six years later, we still have a box full of about 450 mustaches. Let me know if you ever need one. They sometimes just show up for fun because, why not.
I know, I know - this post isn't about pictures of people wearing mustaches. But, when it comes to mustaches, can anybody really contain themselves?
I have also ordered 5 packages of 5-pairs-of-socks thinking "hey, I want five pairs of socks. I guess I should order five." WITHOUT REALIZING ONE PACKAGE CONTAINED FIVE PAIRS. It's bad.
So, I really shouldn't have been surprised when, at my front door yesterday (accompanied by a very smiley delivery person), these items show up:
- Shredded Pepper Jack cheese instead of shredded cheddar. The look of betrayal on my children's faces was real when I handed them quesadillas without telling them about the spicy addition
- Bizarrely-flavored yogurt. We're talking like caramel with pineapple chunks..? Who even eats that? I guess I will now that it's in my fridge.
- Chocolate flavored coconut water. I know some of you (aka, anyone who eats regular, non-hippie food) may not have even heard of or tried coconut water. It's a health thing. Whatever. But chocolate flavored coconut water? I went to naively pour a glass of coco H2O for my daughter AND IT CAME OUT BROWN. Not what you want to see in your cup if you're not expecting it. You would think it'd be obvious that you're buying chocolate anything when the packaging clearly says "chocolate" all over the place.
So yeah, try out InstaCart. It's great. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy some caramel pineapple chunk yogurt.
Like what you see? Check out my quirky memoir about finding your path in life.
I'D RATHER WEAR PAJAMAS