Remember that one time when I thought my book would be most appealing to college-aged girls and instead it's on the best-seller lists in retirement communities?
So, here I am, a month plus as a published author (I know, seasoned, right?) and I'm learning that publishing a book is very similar to childbirth. Hear me out...
First, there's the gestation period. Every so often it's a fun ride, but more often than not, you find yourself cursing like a crazy woman at the giant bulge growing out of you a la Alien. You count down the seconds until the baby finally decides to grace the world with its presence. You're desperate. You try to reason with the bulge—willing to offer your firstborn in exchange for its swift cooperation. Then you remember, the bulge and your firstborn are actually the same thing.
Next comes the delivery. It's a bit of a whirlwind. You're not really sure how it actually happened, but you remember lots of screaming, gnashing of teeth, and other Old Testament-y type stuff. And then, by some miracle, your baby is on the outside of you. You look lovingly at it, planning every second of its life. In an instant, you become a mother. And with that transition, you suddenly (assume you) know every single thing about this child. It will always listen to you and will always follow the exact life path you have planned for it. Mother knows best, right?
But, in the blink of an eye, your baby starts to grow up and, much to your shock, it has a mind of its own. It gets a nose ring and a tattoo. It has its first wild rager at your house while you're away. Okay, so we're not quite there yet, but it turns out my book has its own ideas of what it wants to become.
You see, I was just sure that my book's target demographic would be 20-something girls in the midst of discovering their own versions of strong and being able to relate to my stories.
That was, until my 85-year-old father-in-law got a copy and fell in love with it. Not only that, he bought 20 - yes twenty - copies and handed them out to all of his sweet friends in his retirement community. And they love it. He's even getting ready to order another handful of copies.
I'm as popular as Matlock.
So there it is, my book loves hanging out with grandparents. And grandparents love hanging out with my book. In fact, my book is planning a tour of Christmas caroling throughout the nation's retirement homes. I kid, I kid. Or maybe I don't. I'm not sure - maybe it really is practicing the alto part of "Joy to the World" as we speak...I have no control of anything anymore.
Like what you see? Check out my quirky memoir about finding your path in life.
I'D RATHER WEAR PAJAMAS