Not to blow my own horn or anything*, but i think i've gotten pretty decent at this whole parenting thing. I mean, keeping three children alive and breathing is okay and all, but what I'm really proud of is the fact that, at some point every single day, I get my kids to fall asleep for extended periods of time.
Of course, there have been some confusing moments along the way. Mostly associated with the stacking rings toy that is the most basic children's toy in the world. I picture the stacking rings toy being one of the first toys ever. Little cave babies stacking rocks, bones, woolly mammoths, on top of other things. Turns out I was wrong in thinking it was a simple concept
Take for example:
In case you're thrown off by the fancy colors and round, shiny rings (that's how they getcha):
Granted, these notices don't really apply to us since our children were born with the intelligence of a 30 year old. BUT, for all other parents out there, how are you to know when it's okay to give this toy to your tot? Is 18-36 months a grace period where your baby can try it out for a couple of minutes at a time to prepare for when they're three? Are you sealing a dreadful fate for your child if you let him play with it between that period??
And if that's not confusing enough for you, try figuring out this stacking ring box:
Seven rainbow tower of the colors?!? Companion my baby the intelligence growth?!? YES please!
Honestly, I don't even know what to focus on in this description. I just really hope my children learn how to read and speak based off this box, because FOREVER ENTERTAINMENT
And the other side of the box:
The conversation in my head upon reading this side goes something like this:
"hahahahahahahaha. I can't understand a thing they're trying to say here. It's absolutely absur...wait - what's this wonderful rhythm they speak of that will exercise sense of hearing?"
(eyebrows raise in slight concern)
"It's a ring stacker, not a xylophone..."
(mouth gets dry)
"They repeat the same thing twice, though. that must mean it's an important part of the toy..."
(palms start getting sweaty and eyes start shifting nervously)
"Ut-oh, am i missing something in this toy that is developmentally crucial to my baby's growth??"
(hears baby in the background, playing the piano sonata she just finished composing)**
"...whew, I guess I dodged that bullet."
* I actually am blowing my own horn. On purpose even.
* My baby has never written a piano sonata. She plans to finish her concerto first.
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I'D RATHER WEAR PAJAMAS